James Bond Jr. (NES)

Original Release: 1991
Developer: Eurocom
Publisher: THQ
Platform: Nintendo Entertainment System

Based on the cartoon show about James Bond’s Nephew, this is the second ever game developed by Eurocom, who have made a bunch of Bond games over the years. The NES version of James Bond Jr. is completely different to the SNES version.

With licensed platformers on the NES, you can create a list of annoying things that will frustrate anyone: bullet sponges enemies, maze-like levels with no maps, having to backtrack, enemy attacks knocking you back, annoying springs, having to playtform between screen loads, enemies that trap you in endless damage loops and getting softlocked due to limited ammo. James Bond Jr on the NES manages to tick all of those boxes.

The game consists of four levels, each involving you tracking down objectives and then finding the level exit. The first level has you exploring sewers to disarm missiles. At the start, you drop down a large hole and come across your first enemy: a giant shooting multiple rounds that requires 30-40 hits to kill. Your pistol uses up ammo very quickly, although it will slowly recharge up to 30 rounds (collecting ammo packs will fill it to 99).

When you find a missile, you have to complete a sliding puzzle piece challenge to get colours into the right order. Near the start of the level, there’s something that looks like electric that hurts you if you land on in – this is actually water that you can swim though if you get a scuba mask.

The second level has you searching for safes. In the section in the image, I got trapped in the corner by these annoying dogs that are difficult to hit. Once you find a safe, you have to work out the combination in the worst codebreaking minigame I’ve encountered. This isn’t mastermind-style. You put numbers in four slots and see if any are right. You have nine attempts, so if any of them are the final number you have to try, you have to start again (and the combination resets). On top of this, some of the safes are traps that blow up in your face.

The third level thankfully ditches minigames and you just have to blow up strange “reactor” objects in rooms. You can find a jetpack in this level which runs out of “ammo” very quickly – and there are some sections you can’t navigate without it, meaning you have to restart. There are lots of moving platforms and annoying jumps – I forgot to mention that jumping feels very unresponsive.

After James Bond Jr. defeats the secret base, he escapes by helicopter but is than shot down, conveniently landing right next to SCUM’s secret base. Here you have to rescue scientists by killing the monsters guarding them. You can find a potion which will turn James Bond Jr. into a monster, letting him jump higher – use it up in the wrong place and you’re stuck.

The NES version of James Bond Jr. is very typical of licenced platformers on the NES. Everything seems to be made to frustrate the player, and enemies take so many hits that even defeating them isn’t fun.